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The sun is a radiant yellow orb of light,
Emanating golden rays that spill across the sky,
Flooding everything with gleaming light.

The sky erupts like a volcano,
Exploding burning magma over the heavens.
Like a giant fireworks show.

The sunset is a supernova star,
Bursting in a galaxy far.

Millions of colors dance across the sky,
An awe worthy sight that makes you sigh.

Hot pinks run through
Electric yellows, fiery oranges, vibrant crimsons,
Indigos, violets, and blues.
Extravagant colors mingle with murky clouds above.
A spectrum of breath-taking hues.

The sun kisses the sky goodbye one last time,
Before surrendering to the rising darkness of the growing night,
Fading slowly, until completely out of sight.
:iconsarcastic-ninja:

Author's Comments

A poem written for English class, sometime back in Sept. or Oct. I just got around to putting it up now.

Constructive critism, comments, and any thoughts are highly appreciated. :D

Comments


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:iconcassanadra:
Absolutely adored the last stanza, it was amazing!

--
Attention universe: the world has gone insane. I just wanted you to know that I started the trend
:iconmsmojorisin:
Ooooooh, tis purdy. I hope you get a good grade on it! ^_^

--
"I love it when my quotes are blown up really big." - Murdoc Niccals

QUANTUM ZOMBIES STOLED MAH BABEH : o

:music: Now make it Mello! :music:
:iconsarcastic-ninja:
:D :D :D Thanks! We had to use a whole but load of figurative language in there, as part of the assignment.

I have no idea whether I did or not, actually, because I lost the rubric 2 months ago, and I'm too lazy to go check online XD.

--
Ninjas are nothing without sarcasm....trust me.

Click Here to Know the Meaning of Life...

[link]
:iconsarcastic-ninja:
:D :D :D Thanks!

We got to do a free-verse poem on whatever we wanted, which caused me to use up all of the time we had to work on it by trying to decide on a topic, up until the last minute.

I always do my best work when I procrastinate and panic at the last minute, XD.

--
Ninjas are nothing without sarcasm....trust me.

Click Here to Know the Meaning of Life...

[link]
:iconmsmojorisin:
Figurative language? You mean like assonance and similies and metaphors? If you have the specific terms you need I could actually help you with that. XD I'm an English nerd.Plus you can brag to your teacher that you went through aaaaall this trouble to talk to a high school senior in another state to help you make your poem better. Teachers eat that shit up like a fat kid with cake.

--
"I love it when my quotes are blown up really big." - Murdoc Niccals

QUANTUM ZOMBIES STOLED MAH BABEH : o

:music: Now make it Mello! :music:
:iconcassanadra:
As far as critique goes, I thought there was a little too much flowery imagery, which detracted from the rythym of the poem, but it was still awesome.

The poetry unit I had a couple years ago wasn't nearly as cool. It was just our crazy teacher blabbering about alliterate for two months.

Haha, I know the feeling. Or maybe it's just because even if you completely half ass something over here you still get a hundred.

--
Attention universe: the world has gone insane. I just wanted you to know that I started the trend
:iconsarcastic-ninja:
Yeah....But it was perdy flowery imagery, XD. i get what you mean. I did over do it a little bit, didn't I?

Even if you do an awesome superamazingfantastic job on something here you only get like, a 98. They're so over-critical of us.

--
Ninjas are nothing without sarcasm....trust me.

Click Here to Know the Meaning of Life...

[link]
:iconsarcastic-ninja:
I would, but I actually handed in and wrote this poem back in Sept. I just got around to getting off my lazy butt and putting it up.

You could offer any constructive crit you want to on this, or any future poems if you want to. It's greatly appriciatd ^^

--
Ninjas are nothing without sarcasm....trust me.

Click Here to Know the Meaning of Life...

[link]
:iconcassanadra:
Yea...some of it was really, really good though. I used to be good at poetry...but now I suck ><

Sounds like my old school. I miss it. You'd probably love it here...

--
Attention universe: the world has gone insane. I just wanted you to know that I started the trend

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